Tarot card paintings: grief and the roles of women

This document examines a series of paintings produced after the death of my sister Denise. The paintings began with an overt subject, titled 'Roles of Women', but eventually, through interpretation, revealed themselves to be imagery through which I had expressed my grief. I came to see these paintings as the tarot card pictures of a posthumous reading which enabled me to communicate my feelings about Denise. The organisation of this document reflects the different stages of grief expressed through my paintings. Its format reflects a personal story of my memory of Denise, our sibling relationship, my view of her journey towards death, and lastly my attempt to come to terms with the ultimate finality of losing her. The document also speaks about the roles of women which I researched on a broad historical scale and allowed me to express my memories and feelings. The personal and historical themes often parallel each other in meaning but are kept distinct from each other in this written document to allow the major work of the paintings as tarot cards to visually resolve their connection. The process of making these images is described along with the constant sub-conscious dialogue that accompanied me through the grieving process. The collage materials physically utilised in my paintings were scavenged from debris. These materials represented to me discarded times and as such held memories of the past that paralleled my sub-conscious wish to bring to a conscious expression my memories of Denise. Roles of women became a vehicle for my journey through a past history, where I searched out objects and constructed images as part of a process of expression that met my sub-conscious need to uncover and express a personal analysis of my grieving process.